A Pinch of Posh: A Beginner's Guide to Being Civilised

Sit up straight, smarten yourself up, find a saucer for that cup and prepare to be poshed. What is a Pinch of Posh? As the bloodless severed head of class lies hollow on the marble pavement of the Winter Palace, it is obvious that the world cries loud for leadership. Through a life lived as an example of civilisation, Mr. and Mrs. Llewelyn-Bowen show how to create a new perfect brand of Posh for a post-post-punk generation, all uniquely (bespoke) tailored so that even you might learn to enjoy 2000 years of culture, spot fake Prada at 100 paces and most important of all, learn how to use "One" correctly in any (and every) sentence. With this book, the world can at last rid itself of the evil that is middle-aged ladies in mini-skirts; the morbidly obese in sports wear; men stripped to their juddering waists to celebrate the first day of spring; and above all, street eating. It's witty, it's barbed, it's not always nice, but who doesn't find tough love deeply, deeply erotic! For after all the ends do justify the means and when the ultimate goal is a Pinch of Posh no sacrifice is too great. The contents include: Creating One's Own Class System; Keeping and Caring for Household Staff (don't leave them in the car on a hot day without opening a window); Throwing Spanners at Good Manners (toilette, toilet and the towelette); Grooming (including downstairs grooming); Sportism and Understanding the Sportistic, or Should One Sport with Balls? Killing Things for Fun; When Good Bankruptcy Goes Bad; Life in Prison (celebrate your cell - mini makeovers in minutes); DIY Surgery; Posh Death: Briefing a Florist; And oh so very much more! Do keep up.