Queering the American Dream

The chalky remains of a life cut short filled my hands as I watched my faith slip through the cracks between my fingers. As ordained clergy, I've officiated a lot of funerals. For fourteen years, I shaped burnt ash across congregants' foreheads each year before Lent and reminded them that we all come from dust. To dust we shall return. This day, as I officiated my little brother's funeral, I held the ashes of his body in my bare hands. I'd never done this with anyone else's remains, but I wanted to somehow touch him one last time, to feel his pain and let his torment fall through my fingers, as fragments of his bones clung to my palms. Duster to dust. Computer duster killed my brother. I stood before the folding chairs of family with swipes of my brother's remains smudged across my black dress, as though I had been teaching a thorough lesson at the blackboard of my university classroom and mistakenly leaned against the chalk. A colander was perched atop my head. This was, indeed, comical. And intentional. You see, my little brother, Carl, was not religious. In fact, he was anti-religious. He embodied his disdain for organized religion with a profound love for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As I am a professor of religion, Carl could hold his own with me when discussing world religions, and I would dare say he knew more about Christian history, scripture, and theology than most people who profess the faith. This was in large part because my brother was an intelligent critical thinker, and in small part because he deplored the way most churches treated his queer big sister. But organized religions were not for Carl, so he opted to study and parody them with the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Started as a protest against right-wing discrimination, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster holds a light-hearted view of religion and jokingly calls its adherents "pastafarians." So, the colander is a highly esteemed satirical symbol. You know. Because it drains pasta. In addition to omitting any references to god throughout his funeral, I also opted to wear the colander on my head, passing it around whenever anyone wanted to share a memory or a word of comfort. This probably seems blasphemous to many. As an ordained clergywoman, I think it's pretty damn funny. I needed the levity. Other clergy colleagues offered to officiate, knowing how emotional I would be and seeking to provide me with the care I was extending to so many others. But I couldn't trust anyone with the words and gestures, rituals and lamentations for honoring my little brother. Trembling under March clouds, the vineyard behind me, farmhouse beside me, family before me, and shiny metal colander rattling above me, I couldn't help but wonder, "How in the hell did we get here? And how can we survive this?" How'd We Get Here?

Yarber, Angela

Parenting & Relationships

Tehom Center Publishing

Cultivating Compassion, Creating Self

Self-Help

Russ, Terri L

Success

"I'm not religious; I'm spiritual." How many times have you heard this, or even said it yourself?Reclaiming Faith is a tender yet practical approach to uniting the spirituality you love with the religion you've lost. After surviving marital abuse and religious discrimination, Clifford reconciled his sexual and spiritual identities and now vulnerably invites you to learn from his journey. Modelled after his own process of healing, Clifford teaches you how to: - Read the Bible as though you live among its pages- Worship as though "church" was a personal sanctuary, not a public one- Look inside yourself as though God actually dwells there (because God does!) _____________Trent Clifford (MDiv) is a poet, speaker, spiritual director, abuse survivor, proclaimer of truth, and reclaimer of faith. As a writer and spiritual director, he seeks to provide a ministry of rest for people in the midst of processing their trauma, a ministry of inspiration for those who are looking to enter back into the faith that hurt them, and a ministry of imagination for anyone who needs to look upon God through new eyes. ______________ "With vulnerability, clarity, and courage, Trent reclaims his life and his faith. Reclamation stands out as one of the few brave voices speaking honestly about domestic abuse from the perspective of a gay male survivor, while also giving voice to a gay man's surprising love story with Christianity. Though written as a memoir, this delightful book also reads like a love letter to anyone who has been hurt or cast aside by church and longs to find belonging again."-Rev. Kyndall Rae Rothaus, Author of Thy Queendom Come and Founder of Nevertheless She Preached "It seems an incredible feat for a first book to have such a well-defined and authentic voice. He draws us into a depth of intimacy that quickly made me start protecting my reading time from interruptions." -Rev. Erin Conaway, Pastor of Seventh and James Baptist Church "Clifford details the journey of loving God and the Church alongside the searing pain of feeling distanced from the faith held dear. He weaves together this significant loss with the expectation of a brighter future - one where his whole self is engulfed by the healing embrace of a warmer, bolder, broader faith." -Rev. Geneece Goertzen, Author of Taking It Seriously: A Faith Leader's Guide to Domestic Violence and Founder of Hope.Rise.Thrive

Reclaiming Faith

Clifford, Trent

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Unraveling

Wilson, Rebecca

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LGBTQ+ Books

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