Love is an Action Verb: A Caregivers Journey

Love is an Action Verb by Melodie Yates is an earthy representation of her experience framed as poems about truth, vulnerability, courage, and strength. It is a portrayal of the helplessness, frustration, and loneliness that erupts internally as we manifest outward calm and kindness toward those for whom we are caregiving. Her heartfelt poetry was her mechanism for survival, regeneration, and expression of emotional angst. Regardless of her professional accomplishments, her family/friend support, the knowledge that she was losing herself and her capacity to persevere was frightening. Caring for her husband as they navigated the murky waters of his decline with Alzheimer's over the last 16 years brought the author to her knees. The soul-searching reflections offer her truth, deep and raw, about the realities of long-term caregiving. A wide range of emotions find their way into the poems. There are moments of joy, of understanding, of escaped exasperation. Moments of celebration and moments of despair are given voice. There is comic relief and stark pain. The support of family and friends is acknowledged. Reliance on God is a survival theme underpinning the entire collection.Despite these difficulties, the author also demonstrates a corresponding confidence that there is light at the end of this tunnel. Love sustains us and allows us to find the joy buried in the piles of dirty laundry, the messy house, the big decisions left unmade and the daily drip of decay we witness. Every book has a back story. The story behind this one is one of discovery. All the poems were written as a release, a personal emotional data dump to allow the author to keep some equilibrium in the daily challenges of caregiving. One day during her monthly caregiver's support group, she shared a poem that seemed to fit the discussion. The response was unexpected, confirming, and included an overwhelming recommendation that she publish what she was writing. Each poem is accompanied by reflection and discussion questions that caregivers can use for their own insight or share with others in a search for mutual support. We simply cannot do this by ourselves.