Hunt the Fat White Vampire

Portly vampire Jules Duchon is in a whole heap of hot water with the High Krewe of Vlad Tepes - the fearsome Triumvirate, rulers of the High Krewe, have learned that Jules brought his vampire wife Maureen back to the land of the undead using body parts stolen from three High Krewe women. Seeking revenge and a restoration of their lost honor, the Triumvirate hire a deadly Japanese super-hero assassin, Hiro Mitsuba, the Matter Master, to rub out Jules, his family, and his friends! What can a 400-pound vampire with bad knees do against a pursuer who can control every form of matter, a killer who can turn anything he touches into a weapon?