Once Upon a Time, Bitches: Design Your Fairytale Life, Control Your Destiny, and Become the Hero in Your Story (Once Upon a Time, Bitches Series)

Hi, I'm Branden. That is me on the cover.
Yes, I have a boy's name, a Mom bod, and the tattoos are not photoshopped.
Once upon a time I realized we all have a story, we all have a struggle and happiness is relative. I am not cynical or hardened, I am just stating the facts. Here's the deal:

• Prince Charming doesn't exist.
• Fairy Godmother is drunk.
• Glass slippers don't come 2 Day Prime Shipping from Amazon.

There is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it enough you can come pretty close creating your version with a happy ending. The best part is, in life you can continue to make edits until that sh*t reads exactly how you want it to.
You may not agree with everything I say in this book but the most important takeaway is that YOU have to be your own f-ing hero. No more damsel locked in a tower, bullsh*t. That ends now. Join me as I take you through my 7 Magical Maxims for creating a fairytale life. (I know what you are thinking: Branden, no one gets a fairytale life.) Can you stop being so damn cynical for two seconds and just go with this?

Is it possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can and that's why I wrote this book. I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now if you aren't ready.
Sh*t is about to get real bitches...
Now, scroll up, hit the buy button, pour a glass of wine, and start reading