All the Presidents' Pets: The Story of One Reporter Who Refused to Roll Over

In this new edition of All the Presidents’ Pets you’ll find:

• Presidents: 42
• Poops on White House rug: 1
• References to President Chester Alan Arthur’s hip muttonchops: 1
• Press corps reporters still wearing Ugg Boots: 2
• Scenes taking place in Wolf Blitzer’s Japanese garden: 2
• Cartoon beagles packing heat: 1
• References to the Sacred Feminine: 0
• References to the Sacred Animal: 12
• Near-death escapes by Fox News’ Alan Colmes: 3
• Vulgar LBJ animal expressions: 6
• Secrets of the universe from Stephen Hawking: 1
• Body count: 57 (plus one slug pumped into Dr. Phil’s backside)
• Fox News hotties: 8
• Appearances by evangelist Pat Robertson in a tank top: 1
• Sports practiced by Condi Rice each day before 5 a.m.: 3
• Plus . . . a long-awaited debunking of the Jimmy Carter killer rabbit story!