Before the Unpleasantness

I am sure you have heard of 'Operation Mincemeat', the ingenious plan to land a corpse on a Spanish beach - to fool the Nazis and send their jack-booted, Panzer-clad, blond boys up the wrong alley. Allow me to let you into a secret, I was the rehearsal, some months before hostilities commenced, before the unpleasantness, so to speak. I was the practice run; the 'upper-class-twit' sent on a wild goose chase, scattering fair Albion's imminent enemies hither and thither. And, if I were to die in the process, so be it. So long as the suitcase survived. I, Pelham Hardimann was of no consequence. But, my friend, I can tell you their greatest error...they forgot they were dealing with an Englishman - a Hardimann at that. And let us not forget the femme fatale.