Better Boating Blunders: Sea Going Stuff Ups for Beginners and Experts

Those suffering the merest hint of desire to go seafaring in their own boat will learn from these heart-breaking examples just what can go wrong, Read the secrets of successfully leaving a mooring with topsides unmarked, happening miraculously upon your destination, and then, for the pièce de resistance, dropping anchor with aplomb. Inevitable binocular watchers will murmur appreciatively and even your crew will be impressed. Perfect.
For the cognoscenti, those who know all, this fine book can be used for everything from a chock for a deck-stepped mast, a wedge for propping open a broken hatch, to slapping a wayward crew member into shape. So, buy it anyway. The tales of the mess some fools get into will give you a good laugh while leaving you, dare we say it, feeling a trifle smug. This book is best enjoyed with a pinch of salt, four parts gin, one-part dry vermouth. Shaken, not stirred.
Any profits from the sale of this publication, claims the author, go directly towards the purchase of his next boat.