In Lieu of Flowers: A Conversation for the Living

With the curiosity of a child and the wisdom of an old soul, Nancy Cobb meets death in the most vital of places: in the lives of everyday people. In doing so she has found a way to infuse this darkest of subjects with light and wit. In Lieu of Flowers proves that what makes us cry can also make us laugh, what depresses us can also enlighten us. Cobb's candor and refreshing perspective make the deaths of those she has loved -- and death itself -- a subject to explore rather than avoid.


Cobb's personal experiences become a point of departure for what amounts to a longer conversation about loss. She shares moments of her own mourning and draws others into the conversation as well: among them, a bank teller who still dreams of her deceased grandmother, two small children who bury a wild bird in its final nest beneath a maple tree, and a hospice nurse who acts as an end-of-life midwife. Presented naturally, each anecdote is delivered in a true, clear voice rather than in the hushed tones that too often accompany words of consolation. In telling her stories Cobb opens us up to our own, and she encourages us to accept and honor the "divine intersections" where the living meet the dying.


Candid, powerful, and enlightening, this is an extraordinary treatment of one of the most ordinary and difficult experiences of life.