The 2000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000: The Book

The 2000 Year Old Man was actually born in 1950, when Carl Reiner bought a $138 Revere tape recorder, plugged in the microphone, and instead of saying, "Testing, testing," turned to Mel Brooks and asked, "Is it true that you were at the scene of the Crucifixion some 2000 years ago?" As Brooks' imagination took flight, the old man uttered his first remembrance of things past with a moan of "Oooooooohboy." And then: "I knew Christ, Christ was a thin lad, always wore sandals. Hung around with 12 other guys. They came in the store, no one ever bought anything. Once they asked for water."
Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks ad-libbed their first interviews between the miraculous ancient sage and the reporter covering his history-making arrival in the United States. The 2000 Year Old Man knew everyone from Jesus to Shakespeare, Cleopatra to Paul Revere. He was there when men discovered women, and he dated Joan of Arc. The feisty raconteur had been married several hundred times. He had 42,000 children -- "and not one comes to visit me." The Jewish Methuselah had something to say about everyone and everything -- from religion to soul kissing, from taxes to nectarines: "Half a peach, half a plum. It's a hell of a fruit!" Brooks never knew what Reiner was going to ask, and Reiner only knew that he would never get the same answer twice. Reiner calls it "writing with the mouth."
Most of the targets Reiner and Brooks skewered between 1961 and 1974 on record albums are still with us, including food, cigarettes, the power of advertising, selling America to Japan, neglected children, fear of homosexuals in the military, inadequate health care, fad diets, violent films and pretentious filmmakers. In this millenial update of the cult comedy classic, the 2000 Year Old Man offers his unique wit and wisdom on everything from the Mars landing to shopping malls; homeopathy to the invention of the infomercial; his own dietary secrets, from eating a swirl to his time-tested Seven-Day Diet; and pet peeves, from rap music to "If you know the extension, press one..." The humor of The 2000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000 is a hilarious antidote to the millenial literature of the '90s.

Humor & Entertainment

Brooks, Mel

Reiner, Carl

Humor

HarperEntertainment

A collection of short stories features a man too handsome for his personality, a lifetime bond created by a football accident, and a widower's nostalgic trip to the live chicken market

How Paul Robeson Saved My Life and Other Mostly Happy Stories

Cliff Street Books

The 2000 Year Old Man Goes to School

About four days ago, a plane landed in America with a man who claimed to be 2000 years old. Today, that man is visiting a school just like yours to tell the children of the world what it's like to be 2000 years old.
Here are some of the things you will learn:
What did the 2000 Year Old Man use for transportation? FEAR. You see, an animal would growl at you, and you would go two miles a minute!
What language did the 2000 Year Old Man speak? Rock. Basic rock. Like, "Hey, don't throw that rock at me! Put that rock away!"
What food did the 2000 Year Old Man eat Only what was natural and organic. Clouds, stars, rocks. Big things and small things. But we had to be careful of the red ants because a few live ones on your tongue will eat your tongue before you eat them.
Comic geniuses Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner have teamed up once again to bring their beloved 2000 Year Old Man to school. This is one show-and-tell exhibit you're never going to forget!

Children's Books

Literature & Fiction

Harpercollins

The 2000 Year Old Man was actually born in 1950, when Carl Reiner bought a $138 Revere tape recorder, plugged in the microphone, and instead of saying, "Testing, testing," turned to Mel Brooks and asked, "Is it true that you were at the scene of the Crucifixion some 2000 years ago?" As Brooks' imagination took flight, the old man uttered his first remembrance of things past with a moan of "Oooooooohboy." And then: "I knew Christ, Christ was a thin lad, always wore sandals. Hung around with 12 other guys. They came in the store, no one ever bought anything. Once they asked for water." 
Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks ad-libbed their first interviews between the miraculous ancient sage and the reporter covering his history-making arrival in the United States. The 2000 Year Old Man knew everyone from Jesus to Shakespeare, Cleopatra to Paul Revere. He was there when men discovered women, and he dated Joan of Arc. The feisty raconteur had been married several hundred times. He had 42,000 children -- "and not one comes to visit me." The Jewish Methuselah had something to say about everyone and everything -- from religion to soul kissing, from taxes to nectarines: "Half a peach, half a plum. It's a hell of a fruit!" Brooks never knew what Reiner was going to ask, and Reiner only knew that he would never get the same answer twice. Reiner calls it "writing with the mouth." 
Most of the targets Reiner and Brooks skewered between 1961 and 1974 on record albums are still with us, including food, cigarettes, the power of advertising, selling America to Japan, neglected children, fear of homosexuals in the military, inadequate health care, fad diets, violent films and pretentious filmmakers. In this millenial update of the cult comedy classic, the 2000 Year Old Man offers his unique wit and wisdom on everything from the Mars landing to shopping malls; homeopathy to the invention of the infomercial; his own dietary secrets, from eating a swirl to his time-tested Seven-Day Diet; and pet peeves, from rap music to "If you know the extension, press one..." The humor of The 2000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000 is a hilarious antidote to the millenial literature of the '90s.

Harper Paperbacks

A sweet, wry, and whimsical collection of short stories from one of America's truly great comedic minds.
 Carl Reiner will have you laughing out loud at these twenty-five nostalgic tales with an off-beat flair, as he tackles such wide-rangeing topics as:
 <li>Phone Sex: Dial 411 for Legal Smut</li>
 <li>Evangelism: Sissy Sue and the Reverend Reverend</li>
 <li>Love at first sight: Warren Waits and the Spaghetti-Strap Girl</li>
 <li>God: The Almighty</li>

More than once, Carl Reiner has had friends say, “Hey, Reiner, you ought to write those things down.” And at eighty, he finally has. In this funny and engaging memoir, one of the best raconteurs on the planet recalls his life in show business in short comic takes. Reiner tells of how, after answering an ad for free acting classes on his brother Charlie’s advice, he forsakes a budding career as a machinist for an acting career. In “Sidney Bechet and His Jazz Band Meet Franz Kafka,” he captivates the legendary jazz man and his band with an unusual reading of The Metamorphosis, during a thunderstorm at a Catskills resort in 1942. Reiner also recalls the highlights of the succeeding decades: his first sweaty audition, impersonating a dog impersonating movie stars; his forays into the theater; his work on Your Show of Shows and The Dick Van Dyke Show during TV’s golden days; and his long friendship and collaboration with Mel Brooks which gave birth to the Two Thousand Year Old Man. In “A Recipe to Remember,” he recites a recipe for cream cheese cookies to a star-studded audience that includes Paul Newman, Leonard Bernstein, and Barbra Streisand. In “The Gourmet Eating Club,” he gives an insider’s take on the now-legendary group that included Mario Puzo, Joseph Heller, Zero Mostel, and other luminaries. Mary Tyler Moore, Sid Caesar, Mickey Rooney, Johnny Carson, Cary Grant, Dinah Shore, Ann Bancroft, Jean Renoir – the list goes on and on – also appear in what Reiner calls the “literary variety show” that captures the highs and lows of his extraordinary life. Through it all, Reiner displays the wit and warmth that have made him one of the most beloved figures in the entertainment business. This charming memoir will delight anyone who wants a behind-the-scenes look at five decades of Hollywood and television history.

My Anecdotal Life

Biographies & Memoirs

Arts & Literature

St.Martin's Press

My Anecdotal Life: A Memoir

St. Martin's: Griffin

Everyone loves scary stories and award-winning comedy writer/director Carl Reiner invites readers to huddle close as he tells a young boy's tale of the mysterious house next door. Something with red beams of light shooting from its eyes was coming down the basement stairs. It came closer and closer... the hair on the back of my neck was sticking straight out. I finally saw it- and it was alive! As the story becomes spookier and spookier, Reiner pauses to ask "Shall we turn the page- or is it too scary?" That's for you to decide! Parents and children can read along together as they listen to spooky sound effects and Carl Reiner's hilarious performance of Tell Me a Scary Story... on the accompanying CD.

Tell Me a Scary Story...But Not Too Scary!

Action & Adventure

Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

A little boy has an adventure in the scary basement of his mysterious new neighbor, Mr. Neewollah.

Tell Me a Scary Story... But Not Too Scary! (Book & Audio CD)

Genre Fiction

Enter Laughing

Humor & Satire

Simon&Schuster

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Reiner, Carl. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by Reiner, Carl

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Reiner, Carl. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

The 2000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000: The Book

How Paul Robeson Saved My Life and Other Mostly Happy Stories

The 2000 Year Old Man Goes to School

The 2000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000: The Book

How Paul Robeson Saved My Life and Other Mostly Happy Stories

My Anecdotal Life

My Anecdotal Life: A Memoir

Tell Me a Scary Story...But Not Too Scary!

Tell Me a Scary Story... But Not Too Scary! (Book & Audio CD)

Enter Laughing