** NOTE - THE KINDLE VERSION HAS BEEN FIXED. THIS BOOK IS EASILY READABLE NOW ON KINDLE. TRY A FREE SAMPLE ON YOUR MOBILE DEVICE. SEE ABOVE. ** He's back: the curse of customer service departments everywhere--Ted L. Nancy, letter writer extraordinaire whose imbecilic queries have a way of eliciting equally idiotic answers from some of the world's biggest companies and dignitaries. From the bestselling author of Letters from a Nut comes the latest collection of seemingly serious but crazed correspondence. All New Letters from a Nut includes more than 200 letters, from bizarre to outright loony requests and compliments written by Mr. Nancy to Icelandic malls, German theme parks, shoe museums, foreign presidents, commode companies, waffle cone businesses, and the Hotel Del Fino in Greece along with their equally sincere but hilarious responses. With his previous books, Ted L. Nancy distinguished himself as America's favorite postal humorist. This latest compilation highlights his comic status through letters to an upscale Amsterdam hotel requesting a room for his 300 hamsters and him to put on his play HAMSTERDAM; to Vons Supermarkets complaining that their Diet Black Cherry soda is sending him paranormal messages; to Armour Meats seeking a 59-foot piece of bologna and a note to the City of Glendale, California, asking for help in starting his new comedy club, THE JOKESTRAP; and many more.... Throughout Ted L. Nancy demonstrates his genius for convincing people his absurd queries are dead serious, demonstrated by the responses he receives. All New Letters From a Nut is unabashedly silly, unapologetically sophomoric, and 100% funny. With a Foreword by Jerry Seinfeld. Ted L. Nancy's Letters from a Nut series of bookshave more than 1 million copies in print. They are sold all over the world and have been printed in Japanese and Portuguese.

All New Letters from a Nut: Includes Lunatic Email Exchanges

Humor & Entertainment

Nancy, Ted L.

Humor

Crown/Archetype

Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest. Take, for example, this: Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup &amp; Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Or this: Dear Helena Ocean &amp; Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Or even this: Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean. Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes-is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.

Extra Nutty

St.Martin's Press

Who is Ted L. Nancy? He's a concerned hotel guest searching for a lost tooth... 
He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit... 
He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"... 
He's a demanding dramatist seeking an audience for his play about his 26-year-old dog, Cinnamon... 
He's the proud owner of Charles, a 36-year-old cat who owes his longevity to a pet food company... 
He's a loyal fan of the King of Tonga... 
He is, in reality, a twisted prankster -- a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters and queries to (and receives surprisingly earnest responses back from) corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state to everyone, in fact, from the president of the Bon Ami Cleanser Company to U.S. Vice President Al Gore. 
Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a laugh-out-loud-in-public-places aggregation of official -- and officially certifiable -- requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were! 
Dear Mr. Nancy:"It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." --The Paper Bag Council 
"On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." --Greyhound Bus Lines
"I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." -- Vice President Al Gore 
"An unending stream of some of the most hilarious exchanges I've ever read. Everyone I lent this book to just read it and laughed out loud like I did. It's so simple, yet totally inventive. I'm sure some sort of mail fraud charges could be brought to stop this man but, personally, I hope they never catch him." --Jerry Seinfeld

Letters from a Nut

Puzzles & Games

It Books

More Letters from a Nut

Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 750,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.

Bantam]

Who is Ted L. Nancy? Is it Jerry Seinfeld as many believe? Or is Ted L. Nancy someone else? Mr. Nancy’s hilarious, notorious Letters from a Nut series documented his correspondence with celebrities and companies, who took his outlandish ideas and suggestions at face value. In Hello Junk Mail!, Nancy tackles one of the most pernicious evils of the modern age: the junk mailer. Now writing with the Kabobbys of Glendale, a newly arrived foreign family and their relatives, Ted and his new neighbors answer scores of junk letters with riotous results. Responding to a solicitation from a pest control company, Hamooli Kabobby requests that they eliminate his freeloading cousin, then tells the pest control company about his family problems of body odors and stinky backyards. Geela Kabobby writes the distributors of free instant breakfast samples to ask if they cure eye infections. Grandfather Bahir Kabobby writes to a mortgage company: "Yes, I want financial freedom and healthier toes." Laid out as copies of the actual correspondence, the letters are as authentic as they are ridiculous and all are wildly entertaining. So who is Ted? Jerry Seinfeld or The Kabobbys of Glendale?

Hello Junk Mail!

Natl Lampoon