<p>Ray - So...thinking about these books what the Guv wrote, I wondered if we might, you know, get in on the act a bit. I've knocked this up by remembering things the Guv's said about stuff, thought we could maybe send it to his publishers, get a cut of the proceeds. What do you think? Chris I think you'll be wearing your knacker-sack as a cap when the Guv sees it. Worth a try though I suppose. Ray Unable to resist the possibility of some easy cash, DC Chris Skelton and DS Ray Carling have brought together some of DCI Gene Hunt's (rather original) pearls of wisdom. Covering everything from women ('A smack on the arse and a whiff of Brut knocks 'em bandy, girls like to be appreciated') to talking to fellow officers ('You great soft, sissy, girly, nancy, French bender Man Utd supporting poof') this collection shows that the only thing 'The Guv' can't restrain is his tongue. 'Anything you say will be taken down, ripped up and shoved down your scrawny neck until you choke to death' - "DCI Gene Hunt".</p>

The Wit and Wisdom of Gene Hunt

Humor & Entertainment

Hunt, Gene

Humor

BANTAM PRESS

On normal mornings, the first thing Vernon saw from his bedroom window was a big hayfield between two long, wooded hills. This particular morning was different: a Big White Thing outside his window was blocking his view. "Where'd it come from?" Vernon whispered. "How should I know?" Junior whispered back. "What is it?" "I bet I know!" Vernon said. "It's a tank that must have exploded and landed here! It just missed us!" Junior didn't see the Big White Thing as a tank. "Know what it looks like?" he asked. "A spaceship." Vernon shook his head. "A spaceship? Get a grip!" — from the book For everyone who wants to grow up and read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! It all started with the gently-used spaceship that appeared in the backyard. That's the backyard of Vernon and Junior Smith, thirteen-year-old twins in Whipple Crossing, Pennsylvania. The craft made a curious whirring noise and came complete with a cranky robot with attitude. But real trouble shows up at the front door two days later, in the form of a weasely tax collector from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania demanding $1,000,000 in back taxes for illegally parked space vehicle—otherwise jail time awaits. What to do? Part-time paleontologist granddad's no help—he's off in the Antarctic hunting for fossils. Vernon and Junior agree (a rare occurrence) that running away is the best way to go. But where to run? And how to get there? Well, there is that used spaceship in the backyard... An exuberant skewering of space travel, delivery people, tax collectors, robots, TV anchors, trading, learning languages, bad/good manners, and the entire Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, this is a hilarious send-up of the world we know and the one in outer space we do not.

The Accidental Spaceship

Children's Books

Literature & Fiction

Hand Print

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