Winner of “Honorable Mention” in Future Writers of America contest (Electric Raspberries, 2nd Quarter Honorable Mention 2019 FWA by Galaxy Press)“...I found it impossible to put this book down” — Kylie Brooks
“Beautifully done” — JayC
“Classic sci-fi is back” — Amazon Reader
Have you ever wondered what a UFO abduction is like from the alien’s viewpoint? Can a machine provide comfort to a dying woman? What would it be like to fall into the hands of a get-rich-quick scheming extraterrestrial? All these questions and more are answered in this book of wonderfully crafted short stories by breakout author, J.J. Harlan.
If Ray Bradbury and Douglas Adams collaborated on writing, they’d present something like this incredible collection of science fiction short stories. Ranging from achingly beautiful to uproariously hilarious, this remarkable compilation of stories will evoke nostalgic feelings of the golden days of science fiction, when the promises of the future mingled with the pains of the human present. 
In these short stories, you’ll read about:
<ul>
<li>Alien first contact and their surprising reason to visit Earth</li>
<li>UFO abductions gone wrong</li>
<li>A shocking population control program in a dystopian future</li>
<li>What androids can learn from humans</li>
<li>Hilarious Extraterrestrial comedy</li>
<li>And much, much more...</li>
</ul>
 They will both remind you of the classic shorts you know and love, and turn sci-fi comedy tropes inside out and upside down.
Scroll up and click BUY NOW, you'll be glad you did!

Aliens and Androids: A Quirky Collection of Funny and Touching Science Fiction Short Stories

Literature & Fiction

Harlan, J.J.

Genre Fiction

Independently published

Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking.
If you’re a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you’re going to love Amusing Musings. 
Get ready to enjoy the most hilarious book of the year. This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners will make you laugh until you cry. Relish delightfully witty quotes such as these:
“I bet a popular joke in the medieval days was to sneak up behind a knight and stick a “kick me” sign on his armor with a magnet.” 
“I think it would be a good idea if scientists invented a new fruit. It should look like an orange, but, ‘surprise’, it tastes like a watermelon. Also, it screams when you peel it.”
“If cats could talk, I bet that when they cleaned themselves they’d never shut up about how good they taste.”
If you are a fan of non-sequitur comedy in the style of Mitch Hedburg, Steven Wright, or Saturday Night Live’s Jack Handey, then buy this outrageously entertaining book now!
It's the perfect funny gift for men or women with an offbeat sense of humor!

Amusing Musings: Hilarious one-liners and deep thoughts for the offbeat sense of humor

Humor & Entertainment

Humor

Short Stories & Anthologies

Starry Dreamer Publishing, LLC

Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking."Laugh out loud funny!"If you're a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you're going to love Amusing Musings.Are you ready to enjoy the most absurdly hilarious book of the year? This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners will make you laugh until you cry. Relish delightfully ridiculous quotes and dad jokes such as these:"I bet a popular joke in the medieval days was to sneak up behind a knight and stick a "kick me" sign on his armor with a magnet.""If cats could talk, I bet that when they cleaned themselves they'd never shut up about how good they taste."If you are a fan of non-sequitur, absurdist comedy in the style of Mitch Hedburg, Steven Wright, or Saturday Night Live's Jack Handey, then buy this outrageously entertaining book now!It's the perfect funny gift for men or women with an offbeat sense of humor!

How Not to Be Helpful: An Illustrated Guide for Thoughtless Adults

Have you ever felt like you're the only sane person left in the world? Or, do interactions with the general public leave you questioning all of humanity? If so, then this hilarious illustrated guide is for you!How Not to Be Helpful: An Illustrated Guide for Thoughtless Adults is packed with uproarious parodies of the strange, erratic, and thoughtless people we encounter in our everyday lives. It is guaranteed to bring a smile and a laugh to anyone who has ever pondered the sanity of their fellow man!No longer do you have to be the sensible odd person out. You too can learn how to fit in with the rest of the ignorant masses with helpful, illustrated instructions such as:Never cover your mouth when you sneeze to help others boost their immune systems!Mow your lawn at 7 a.m. on Saturday mornings so your neighbors can kick off their weekend with the lovely smell of freshly cut grass!Avoid flushing the toilet after using it to help others save on their water bill!Always drive with your high beams on at night to better illuminate the road for everyone!And many, many more...Fun and funny, this book is the perfect gift for those who need a little more self-awareness in their lives or for those who just need a good chuckle about all the crazy in the world today!

Do you ever feel like you're the only sane person left in the world? Have you ever asked yourself the question: "What on Earth was that person thinking?!" If so, then this hilarious illustrated guide is for you!\nHow Not to Be Helpful: An Illustrated Guide for Thoughtless Adults is packed with uproarious parodies of the strange, erratic, and thoughtless people we encounter in our everyday lives. This book is guaranteed to bring a smile and a laugh to anyone who has ever pondered the sanity of their fellow man. You'll see that people aren't crazy or rude, they're just trying to be helpful!\nYou too can learn how to fit in with the rest of the ignorant masses with unhelpful, illustrated instructions such as: Never cover your mouth when you sneeze to help others boost their immune systems! Mow your lawn at 7 a.m. on Saturday mornings so your neighbors can kick off their weekend with the lovely smell of freshly cut grass! Avoid flushing the toilet after using it to help others save on their water bill! Always drive with your high beams on at night to better illuminate the road for everyone! And many, many more...\nFun and funny, this book is the perfect gift for those who need a little more self-awareness in their lives or for those who just need a good chuckle about all the crazy in the world today!\nBUY NOW!

Dog Heaven and Cat Hell Are Probably the Same Place: And other ridiculously deep thoughts (The Joke Gift Collection)

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Harlan, J.J.. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by Harlan, J.J.

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Harlan, J.J.. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Aliens and Androids: A Quirky Collection of Funny and Touching Science Fiction Short Stories

Amusing Musings: Hilarious one-liners and deep thoughts for the offbeat sense of humor

Aliens and Androids: A Quirky Collection of Funny and Touching Science Fiction Short Stories

Amusing Musings: Hilarious one-liners and deep thoughts for the offbeat sense of humor

How Not to Be Helpful: An Illustrated Guide for Thoughtless Adults

How Not to Be Helpful: An Illustrated Guide for Thoughtless Adults

Dog Heaven and Cat Hell Are Probably the Same Place: And other ridiculously deep thoughts (The Joke Gift Collection)