Prisoners of Geography meets Bill Bryson: a funny, fascinating, beautifully illustrated – and timely – history of countries that, for myriad and often ludicrous reasons, no longer exist. 
‘Countries are just daft stories we tell each other. They’re all equally implausible once you get up close’ 
Countries die. Sometimes it’s murder, sometimes it’s by accident, and sometimes it’s because they were so ludicrous they didn’t deserve to exist in the first place. Occasionally they explode violently. A few slip away almost unnoticed. Often the cause of death is either ‘got too greedy’ or ‘Napoleon turned up’. Now and then they just hold a referendum and vote themselves out of existence.\nThis is an atlas of nations that fell off the map. The polite way of writing an obituary is: dwell on the good bits, gloss over the embarrassing stuff. This book fails to do that. And that is mainly because most of these dead nations (and a lot of the ones that are still alive) are so weird or borderline nonsensical that it’s impossible to skip the embarrassing stuff. 
The life stories of the sadly deceased involve a catalogue of chancers, racists, racist chancers, conmen, madmen, people trying to get out of paying tax, mistakes, lies, stupid schemes and General Idiocy. Because of this – and because treating nation states with too much respect is the entire problem with pretty much everything – these accounts are not fussed about adding to all the earnest flag saluting in the world, however nice some of the flags are.

An Atlas of Extinct Countries: The Remarkable (and Occasionally Ridiculous) Stories of 48 Nations that Fell off the Map

Humor & Entertainment

Defoe, Gideon

Humor

Fourth Estate

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon.

Literature & Fiction

Contemporary

Weidenfeld&Nicolson

London, 1840: Wagner's latest opera plays to packed houses while disgruntled workers gather in crowded pubs to eat ice cream and plan the downfall of the bourgeoisie. Meanwhile, the Pirate Captain finds himself incarcerated at Scotland Yard, in a case of mistaken identity. Discovering that his doppelgänger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain and his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot that involves intellectual giants, enormous beards, and a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people. Includes, at no additional charge, The Wit and Wisdom of the Pirate Captain—a Major Philosophical Work. On the Matter of Love: If you're off to fight in a battle, snap a ship's biscuit in half and give your girlfriend the other half. When you meet again, they will match—like two halves of a single soul! Hopefully, this will stop her sleeping with other men. On Life in General: Life is like a big shanty. Everything will be fine so long as everyone sings in harmony. But if someone plays a duff note on the accordion or tries to break-dance at a sensitive bit, then there will be all sorts of trouble, mark my words.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists: A Novel

Dramas & Plays

Vintage

After adventures with Charles Darwin, Captain Ahab, and Karl Marx, The Pirate Captain faces off against his toughest—though not his biggest—challenge yet: Napoleon Bonaparte. Bruised from a crushing disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards, the Pirate Captain decides that it’s time for a career change. Before long, his loyal crew, much to their dismay, find themselves en route to St. Helena, a bleak speck of an island a thousand miles from anywhere. But the Captain’s plan for a quiet life rearing bees is interrupted by the arrival of another visitor to the island—the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Is the island’s twenty-eight mile circumference big enough to contain two of history’s greatest egos? Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? And who has the best hat? Once again, Gideon Defoe has given us an exciting, swashbuckling tale of lavish tea parties, planning regulations, and raw political ambition.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon

Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group

NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE Adventure? Yes, more than one! Derring-do? Yes! Storms? Sea monsters? Rival pirates? Of course! Cameos by frequently anachronistic historical figures? You betcha! All that and more. Not since Moby-Dick. . . . No, not since Treasure Island. . . . Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a group of seafarers to rival The Pirates!, and their leader, the greatest ocean-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time on the bounding main somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition.

The Pirates! Band of Misfits (Movie Tie-in Edition): An Adventure with Scientists & An Adventure with Ahab (The Pirates! Series)

Humor & Satire

In Gideon Defoe’s fifth Pirates! adventure, the dashing Pirate Captain and his intrepid crew encounter perhaps the most swashbuckling poets in history: Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and Shelley’s fiancée, Mary Godwin. While visiting the shores of Lake Geneva to restore their spirits and their finances, the Pirate Captain and his crew encounter some surprising fellow adventurers, literary giants of their age: the swaggering Lord Byron, the oddly shifty Percy Shelley, and his smart, quite attractive fiancée, Mary. Together the poets and pirates embark upon a journey that leads from the curiously adventureless Switzerland into the darkest bowels of Oxford, and finally to the forbidding heart of eastern Europe. Amidst haunted castles and early feminism, the Pirate Captain will confront some important questions, namely: What is the secret behind his mysterious belly tattoo? Is “Zombuloid, the corpse-beast” a better name for a monster than “Gorgo: Half-man, half-seaweed?” And, most importantly, what happens when a pirate finally falls in love?

The Pirates!: In an Adventure with the Romantics (The Pirates! Series)

Not since Moby-Dick...No, not since Treasure Island...Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time at sea, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition. Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure. While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists: A Novel

Pantheon

They’re back!!! The Pirate Captain and his irascible crew of scoundrels return in their soggiest saga yet.Fresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel——purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, the Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward.Chaos ensues, featuring the lascivious Cutlass Liz, the world’s most dangerous mosquito, an excerpt from the Pirate Captain’s novel in progress (a bodice ripper, of course), whale ventriloquism, practical lessons in whale painting, a shanty-singing contest in a Las Vegas casino, and a dra-matic climax in which the Pirate Captain’s prize ham saves the day!Move over, Herman Melville.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab: A novel

London, 1840: Wagner’s latest opera plays to packed houses while disgruntled workers gather in crowded pubs to eat ice cream and plan the downfall of the bourgeoisie. And the Pirate Captain––his disguise proving something of a letdown––finds himself incarcerated at Scotland Yard, in a case of mistaken identity. Discovering that his doppelgänger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain and his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot that involves a red-eyed monster, stolen waxworks, and a sack of pretend kittens. From the gloomy streets of Soho to the leafy boulevards of Paris, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists is a story of intellectual giants, enormous beards, volcanoes and valkyries, doubloons and dancing girls, and a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people. This volume also includes, at no additional charge, The Wit and Wisdom of the Pirate Captain––a Major Philosophical Work On the Matter of Love: If you’re off to fight in a battle, snap a ship’s biscuit in half and give your girlfriend the other half. When you meet again, they will match––like two halves of a single soul! Hopefully, this will stop her sleeping with other men. On the Question of Gravy Stains: It is my opinion that the best way to get gravy stains out of cotton or wool is to soak the fabric in vinegar for half an hour. . . . If this doesn’t work, try burning the gravy off with a match or getting a hungry dog to lick it off. On Life in General: Life is like a big shanty. Everything will be fine so long as everyone sings in harmony. But if someone plays a duff note on the accordion or tries to break-dance at a sensitive bit, then there will be all sorts of trouble, mark my words.

The Pirate Captain and his merry band of ne’er-do-wells face off against their toughest—but by no means their tallest—challenge yet. Crushed with disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards, our Pirate Captain decides that it’s time for a career change. And so with his loyal (if soon-to-be-dismayed) crew, he sets off for St. Helena, a bleak speck of an Atlantic island a thousand miles from anywhere. But the Captain’s plan for a quiet island life of beekeeping (yes, beekeeping) is interrupted by the arrival of a new “visitor” to the island—the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Will the island’s twenty-eight-mile circumference be big enough to contain two of history’s greatest egos? Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? And, lest we forget the most important question: which of them has the best hat? The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon is a swashbuckling tale of lavish tea parties, planning regulations, educational museum exhibits, and naked political ambition. And—unlike all of its thrilling predecessors—there is not much ham involved.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon: A Novel

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Defoe, Gideon. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by Defoe, Gideon

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Defoe, Gideon. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

An Atlas of Extinct Countries: The Remarkable (and Occasionally Ridiculous) Stories of 48 Nations that Fell off the Map

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists: A Novel

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon

The Pirates! Band of Misfits (Movie Tie-in Edition): An Adventure with Scientists & An Adventure with Ahab (The Pirates! Series)

The Pirates!: In an Adventure with the Romantics (The Pirates! Series)

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists: A Novel

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab: A novel

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists: A Novel

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon: A Novel