Autobiography of a One Year Old

“I am a one-year-old and this is my autobiography....”Have you ever looked at your baby and wondered what he or she is thinking? Are you ready to find out?“I thought it was about time someone told it like it is. So I’m spilling the beans on the world of a one-year-old. A world where you’re left in the charge of totally inept parents. Where everything’s at completely the wrong height. Where you’re not allowed to splash in the bath but you are in the pool. Where nobody understands a single word you say. And where diapers and poop loom large at every turn. “It’s a roller-coaster ride through one heck of a year. I’ve laughed a lot, I’ve cried a lot, I’ve learned a lot. And so will you. You might even discover the answer to that age-old question: Humpty Dumpty — did he fall or was he pushed? “Anyway, must run. I see a bowl of tepid gloop is being spooned out for me. What joy.”Welcome to the wonderful world of your one-year-old.From the Trade Paperback edition.

Parenting & Relationships

Candappa, Rohan

Parenting

Ebury

A quirky and hilarious take on the traditional memoir, this "autobiography" is written from the point of view of a one-year-old as he braves all the whimsies and contradictions of modern life. From unraveling the mysteries hidden in other babies' strollers to keeping a tight rein on his unruly parents, this baby has quite a story to tell.

Literature & Fiction

Humor & Satire

Ebury Publishing

Stress For Success

Health, Fitness & Dieting

Psychology & Counseling

Ebury Press

Why did no one warn me?' cry new parents. 'It's a conspiracy'. Rohan knows why. Because your average Mum and Dad are far too bloody tired to worry about anyone else. Luckily Rohan likes Pro-Plus and strong coffee and, at the end of a long day of looking after small tyrants, he has summoned enough energy to write this brilliantly pithy, scorchingly funny book on how to survive life with young children. This is a parenting book with a difference - he's on your side.

The Parents Survival Handbook

Random House]

Picklehead

Humorist Rohan Candappa is the son of a Sri Lankan father and Burmese mother. He grew up small and round in South London, riding his chopper bike and supporting Leeds United. But every day his mother would conjur delicious meals out of thin air. His father cooked too, with fiery flavorings, black curries, and green coriander chutneys. Their home became the focus for family gatherings and feasts of such delicacy and exoticism that you'd never have known Norwood lay outside the window. Yet somewhere in his twenties Rohan forgot his culinary heritage, and it wasn't until he was bringing up his own young family that he began to think more about his identity as a second generation immigrant, and the binding, identifying power of the family meal caught his imagination. And so he began this beautifully written, funny, poignant, memoir of his heritage and his home. Of curry leaves and curried fries. Hot chilis and hot dogs. Pataks and Heinz. About the past and the present—and the place where time should cease to matter . . . the family kitchen.

Picklehead: From Ceylon to Suburbia: A Memoir of Food, Family and Finding Yourself

Biographies & Memoirs

Professionals & Academics

What exactly does it mean to be British? Forget the official Citizenship Test, what do newcomers really need to understand to be part of this Great Nation? Does it involve wearing plastic Union Jack bowler hats? Perhaps sinking a tankard of ale? In these confused multicultural times it’s difficult to know. Well, fear not, because Rules Britannia is here to answer the 101 Essential Questions of Britishnessfrom the straightforward ("What is the point of the Boat Race?") to the historical ("Why couldn’t the Daleks conquer the universe?"); the metaphysical ("Who is the one” who has been barred from All Bar One”?") to the totally unfathomable ("Elizabeth Hurley. Explain."). Within the wisdom-packed pages of this seminal tome you’ll also discover how Tim Henman can be both a hero and a villain, why a stiff upper-lip is treated as a source of pride rather than a facial condition, and why custard and gravythe two key lubricants of a frankly limited cuisineare locked in a yin-and-yang like struggle for dominance which neither can ever win. Written with an absurd, off-beat sense of humour, bestselling author Rohan Candappa both sends up and celebrates the Sceptered Isle. And, after all, what could be more British than an absurd, off-beat sense of humor?

Rules Britannia: The 101 Essential Questions of Britishness Answered

Reference

Autobiography of a One-Year-Old

“I am a one-year-old and this is my autobiography....” Have you ever looked at your baby and wondered what he or she is thinking? Are you ready to find out? “I thought it was about time someone told it like it is. So I’m spilling the beans on the world of a one-year-old. A world where you’re left in the charge of totally inept parents. Where everything’s at completely the wrong height. Where you’re not allowed to splash in the bath but you are in the pool. Where nobody understands a single word you say. And where diapers and poop loom large at every turn. “It’s a roller-coaster ride through one heck of a year. I’ve laughed a lot, I’ve cried a lot, I’ve learned a lot. And so will you. You might even discover the answer to that age-old question: Humpty Dumpty — did he fall or was he pushed? “Anyway, must run. I see a bowl of tepid gloop is being spooned out for me. What joy.” Welcome to the wonderful world of your one-year-old.

Humor & Entertainment

Humor

Random House Publishing Group

Bantam]

Ebury Press has sold more than 140,000 copies of this hilarious book since it was published in the U.K.Is stress really all that bad? Without it, could we get everything done, or would we just be sickeningly happy-go-lucky day in and day out? In The Little Book of Stress Rohan Candappa shows ways to actually increase the level of stress within you and those around you. Because without stress, life is boring. Increase your own stress levels and create stress in others with simple measures such as: * If you are stressed, make sure you communicate this to those around you. Soon they'll be stressed too. * Switch the decaffeinated and caffeinated coffees around whenever you can. * Always join in other people's arguments. Try to get others to join in too. * When you're the first car in line at a traffic light, get out and read a map. Try to miss the green light at least twice. * A double espresso just before bed is always a winner. * Replace your bulbs with overhead, neon-strip lights. If you can get ones that flicker, all the better. * If someone is telling you a joke and you know the punch line, wait until they've nearly finished, then tell them you've heard it before. * Ask single women if they've got a boyfriend yet. Repeat on Valentine's Day.

The Little Book Of Stress

Andrews McMeel Publishing

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