The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families

Candid, compassionate, authoritative--a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. ""The first major work on the topic."" --Gay Community News ""A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis. --The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians ""The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children's reactions to a parent's coming out. Well-researched and insightful."" --Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option ""Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book."" --Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family's journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton's eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.

Buxton, Amity Pierce

Parenting & Relationships

Trade Paper Press

<div>Candid, compassionate, authoritative--a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. ""The first major work on the topic."" --Gay Community News ""A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis. --The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians ""The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children's reactions to a parent's coming out. Well-researched and insightful."" --Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option ""Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book."" --Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family's journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton's eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.</div>

When presumably heterosexual spouses turn out to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, the unexpected revelation overshadows its devastating impact on their straight wives and husbands. Unseen-Unheard opens the window on their remarkable journeys from trauma to transformation. What would you do if your husband said he'd fallen in love with a man or thinks he might be gay or bisexual, or you discovered your wife's texts, photos, or emails indicating she has a female lover and wonders if she might be lesbian or bisexual? Well, this happens, a shattering reality that at least two million men and women have faced and tried to understand and accept, even as we were unseen and our voices unheard. Who are we? We are husbands and wives left behind when our spouses came out or after we discovered they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Shocked and paralyzed, swirling in the devastating wake of our beloveds' revelation, we had to pick up unrecognizable pieces of our former lives and try to reconfigure them without much outside support, recognition, or understanding of the depth of the crisis. Yes, straight spouses typically cope alone with unique issues of sexuality, betrayal, and broken belief systems. Slowly, we redefine ourselves, create new lives, affirm the joy of living, and reap life's infinite possibilities. We invite you to walk with us and experience our journey from the first desperate cries of discovery or disclosure to insights and wisdom gained as we resolve our issues and transform our lives. As you observe and listen, we hope you will embrace the courage, creativity, and resilience of our strength, which we didn't know we had, yet was so powerful that lifelong habits were broken and we uniquely and marvelously became who we were meant to be. 
About the Authors: Amity Pierce Buxton, her Ph.D. from Columbia University, has taught grades pre-school through graduate school. Member of the American Psychological Association, she serves on the editorial boards of the Journal of Bisexuality and the Journal of GLBT Family Studies and on the board of the Catholic Association for Gay and Lesbian Ministry. She wrote The Other Side of the Closet: the Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families and founded the worldwide Straight Spouse Network. Currently, she counsels spouses and couples, conducts research, writes articles and chapters, lectures, and gives workshops on all aspects of the impact of a spouse's coming out in a mixed-orientation or transgender/non-transgender marriage. R. L. Pinely writes, "Collaborating with Amity to write this book has been an amazing journey. Absorbing her expertise has been a rare privilege as we lived vicariously through the lives of others and walked in their shoes. As owner of an online support group, I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity every day to pass along her wisdom, insight, experience, and understanding to nearly 3,000 women." Visit the Straight Spouse Network website: www.straightspouse.org

Unseen-Unheard: Straight Spouses from Trauma to Transformation

Self-Help

Pinely, R. L.

Relationships

CCB Publishing

How would you feel if you were different from everyone else around you?Herbert the Hedgehog knows. He knows exactly what it's like not to belong, to be different from everybody else. Though he's just like his family in many ways, inside he feels different. However, try as he might, he can't find a way to talk about it. He thinks he can figure it out by himself. Can he? It's only with the support of his family, and the help of a very special friend, Max the Mallard Duck, that Herbert learns it's very important to be yourself and to accept who you are. He realizes that being different isn't what matters. What matters most is love. Who knew a simple walk could change his life forever? Join Herbert as he sets out on a journey alone to find himself and, along the way, finds so much more! About the Authors: Lynn E. Mueller explains, "I've been writing most of my adult life and am inspired by the simplest of things: love. I believe society has forgotten that it's okay to be silly, to take delight in innocence and to take delight in the joy of pure laughter." Lynn's philosophy: "Never let your inner child reach puberty! I believe if you keep the intangibles as your cornerstone, you will find yourself in your work. You must know yourself as an author, be open to all possibilities and remain passionate about the integrity of your message. There's an amazing opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others as writing is a catalyst which can change the heart, mind and soul." Lynn attended St. Leo University and holds a Bachelor of Arts in Education. With a passion for the elderly, she works part time as a Regional Coordinator in Long Term Health Care while continuing to pursue her career as an author. She and her daughter reside in Vero Beach, Florida. Amity Pierce Buxton grew up in Massachusetts and New York. After receiving a BA in English and an MA in the Teaching of English, she earned her PhD at Columbia University in English Literature and Teaching with an emphasis on communication and "audience." She has taught all grades (except middle school) from preschool to graduate school across the country. Amity trained teachers for desegregating schools in the Sixties and, with a team of colleagues, developed a teachers' center where teachers at all grade levels could design curriculum and hands-on teaching materials so that all their students could reach their individual potential. Besides creative writing, especially poems and essays, Amity writes articles and book chapters on her research, which ranges from children's language development to individual and family issues that arise from traumatic experiences. She serves on a variety of national boards of professional and volunteer organizations concerned with the health and welfare of families and children and conducts workshops in those areas. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, her adult children nearby. "All my life," she says, "I have worked to create ways and means for everyone's voice to be heard and needs to be met, starting from her or his earliest years."

Herbert the Hedgehog

Children's Books

Mueller, Lynn E.

Growing Up & Facts of Life

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Buxton, Amity Pierce. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by Buxton, Amity Pierce

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Buxton, Amity Pierce. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families

The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families

Unseen-Unheard: Straight Spouses from Trauma to Transformation

Herbert the Hedgehog