Bisexual and Gay Husbands: Their Stories, Their Words (Haworth Gay & Lesbian Studies)

What happens when married men face their gay/bisexual needs?This astonishing volume offers an intimate look into the lives and thoughts of bisexual men. Already married to women, these men are undeniably attracted to other men. Their struggle with conflicting needs, desires, and loyalties is not filtered through theories or evoked in brief interviews. It comes straight from their own keyboards. The stories told in Bisexual and Gay Husbands are taken from an Internet mailing list, which allows people to speak freely and in anonymity, yet also encourages the development of a tightly knit community. Men at all stages of the coming-out process share their experiences, their secrets, their pain, shame, anger, and hope.One man writes, “I have found the answer to my bisexual needs and am afraid to embrace it. I need help and advice to know what to do. What you people have done in your lives may hold the key to helping me decide on a course of action. I am either going to create a dream come true or hell on earth as I destroy my marriage. I can’t tell which, and of course you can’t either. But you CAN tell me how you are handling the problems I am facing.”Bisexual and Gay Husbands includes advice and information on the issues that touch these men most deeply, including: how do I tell my wife and kids? what does it mean to self-identify as bisexual or gay? what kinds of relationships do I want with men? can triads work? how do I deal with my children’s reaction? do I have to leave my wife?The insight, intelligence, and honesty revealed in Bisexual and Gay Husbands make it a riveting read, but it also has great clinical and historic value for therapists, sex theorists, and bisexual men and their families.