Pew! Pew! Volume 1: Sex! Guns! Spaceships! Oh My

9 Comedic space opera tales of big spaceships, poor life decisions, and lots of Pew!Delta-Team - by M. D. CooperIn 8913, a crack military unit was court-martialed and sent to a maximum security prison for stealing the general's cookie recipes. Colonel Ramsey and his team promptly escaped and fled the core systems.Today they serve as soldiers of fortune, or whatever else will make them a buck.If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find, then maybe, you can hire the Delta Team.The Methane Lake of Excruciating Tedium - by Felix R. SavageClimatologist Beddard Godwin is elated when he gets a chance to work on Titan, a moon of Saturn so cold that liquid methane forms lakes on the surface. Alone on the frigid surface, he contentedly composes romantic poetry and contemplates the toxic clouds. But when a mysterious passenger appears in his boat, he discovers that there are much, much worse things than other human beings on Titan...The Last Bounty - by Barry J. HutchisonOnce the baddest bounty hunter in the galaxy, all Konto Oon wants these days is a quiet family life with the woman he loves, and the respect of Deenia, the step-daughter who hates his guts. But when Deenia is taken hostage, Konto must employ all his skills to mount a death-defying rescue mission.With a terrorist-filled station between him and the hostages, and an infuriatingly upbeat boy from Deenia's class for company, Konto's talents will be stretched to their limit as he goes after the most important bounty of his life--his daughter.Spaceberg - by M. PaxWhen Spaceberg hits, Nikili Echols of Orbital Rescue Squad 51 is first on the scene. But even as she battles one disaster after another--saving people, starships, and entire worlds--Spaceberg proves to be more than one woman can handle. She's losing ground. With time running out Nikili is forced to team up with her ex husband in order to rescue their daughter and to save what remains humanity and its home system. The Long Dark Pew - by Chris J. PikeThe crew of the Barnburner are misfits and trouble makers with a food replicator that doesn't work, a clinically depressed AI; and when duty calls they're late. Unfortunately for the fate of the planet, it'll be up to them to stop a horde of space bees from invading Earth--or at least get stung trying. Brewing Trouble - by Amy DuboffLosing an eye is just the start of Jack's misadventure when he's conscripted by a group of thieves to steal an innovative energy core. Even with his life on the line, the promise of the perfect cup of coffee is worth the risk.Dodging Fate - by Zen DiPietroA redshirt pits himself against the universe--which one will win?Charlie Kenny has a fork phobia, a cyborg granny, and more bad luck than a black cat breaking a mirror on April Fool's Day.He's on his way into space for the first time, and given his history, it's bound to go epically bad.Redshirts don't get a happily-ever-after.Gli+ch - by Drew AveraJust when Ben's contemplating whether or not he can use his robotic arm to strangle himself, he sees an ad promoting a new mining colony on Europa. A new life, good pay, and respect await him if he can just get there from Mars. The hot girl in the ad may have helped, too.But space isn't a place for the weak, or the terminally unlucky, and when calamity strikes right out of the gate, Ben starts to think getting to Europa may take a farking miracle.Bat Johnson, the Mad Mortician of Mars - by Rachel AukesA tale of space colonization, alien invasions, and lactose intolerance.The Mars Bionet is a desolate place. Only the toughest survive there. Those who don't end up on Bat's table. When business suddenly picks up, he discovers that humans aren't the only Martians, and the real ones are tiny, cute, and really ticked off. When no one believes his story, Bat alone must take on an alien army to save Mars and--hopefully--get a little peace and quiet.