Don Juan

Collectors edition! This is the original Thing Itself: not only is it caustic, sharp, and hysterically funny (remember that, readers -- it's meant to be FUNNY!), but Byron dictated a lot of it out loud while he was shaving in the morning. I'm not kidding. Read this brilliant stuff, and imagine a guy just making it up as he goes along, in the bathroom while he's shaving. (Yup, the original freestyle r -- unbelievable.) It's worth reading the whole long thing just to come across gems like: "Her first thought was to cut off Juan's head; Her second was to cut off his... acquaintance." And as to its enduring relevance, well, consider Byron's razor-sharp two-line appraisal of women's rights in Muslim countries... "I speak of Christian lands in this comparison --- Where wives, at least, are seldom kept in garrison." Kick back, relax, and have yourself a Lord Byron: ice-cold, pure, and bottled at the source.