English Eccentrics and Eccentricities

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1875 edition. Excerpt: ... ing amusing trifle--an Alphabet constructed on a single rhyme :-- "A was an Army, to settle disputes; B was a Bull, not the mildest of brutes; C was a Cheque, duly drawn upon Coutts; D was King David, with harps and with lutes; E was an Emperor, hailed with salutes; F was a Funeral, followed by mutes; G was a Gallant, in Wellington boots; H was a Hermit, and lived upon roots; J was Justinian, his Institutes; K was a Keeper, who commonly shoots; L was a Lemon, the sourest of fruits; M was a Ministry--say Lord Bute's; N was Nicholson, famous on flutes; O was an Owl, that hisses and hoots; P was a Pond, full of leeches and newts; Q was a Quaker, in whitey-brown suits; R was a Reason, which Paley refutes; S was a Serjeant, with twenty recruits; T was Ten Tories, of doubtful reputes; U was uncommonly bad cheroots; V vicious motives, which malice imputes; X an Ex-King, driven out by emeutes; Y is a Yawn ; then the last rhyme that suits, Z is the Zuyder Zee, dwelt in by coots.' Non Sequitur and Therefore. Lord Avonmore was subject to perpetual fits of absence of mind, and was frequently insensible to the conversation that was going on. He was wrapped in one of his wonted reveries, and not hearing one syllable of what was passing (it was at a large professional dinner given by Mr. Burke), Curran, who was sitting next to his Lordship, having been called on for a toast, gave, "All our absent friends," patting at the same time Lord Avonmore on the shoulder and telling him he had just drunk his health. Taking the intimation as a serious one, Avonmore rose, and apologizing for his inattention, returned thanks to the company for the honour they had done him by drinking his health. There was a curious character, Serjeant Kelly, at the Irish bar. He...