How We Make Our Kids Angry: Suggestions for Parents Who Want to Change

I remember one of the first times our younger daughter Amber vented her anger at me for something I did. In reality, it was something I didn't do that made her mad. She had asked me to help her with a paper she was writing for a middle school class. The paper required a lot of research, and Amber didn't know how to go about doing the research. "There's nothing to it," I assured her flippantly. Then instead of showing her what she needed to do, I simply told her to get started, explaining that she would figure out how to do the research as she went along. She let out an exasperated sigh. "But Dad, I don't know how to--" "Amber, just get started," I insisted with authority, "and you'll figure it out." Then I left the room. (from the introduction) When the author understood his mistake, he was able to go and talk with his daughter. As she vented, he began to understand what a capacity parents have to make their kids angry, and how he could change his approach to communicating with his children to improve their relationship. In the years since Roger Cross has been studying the things parents do that make kids angry, such as:

• playing favorites
• having loose or confusing boundaries
• expecting kids to fill adult roles and more

Drawing on his ministry of Youth for Christ along with a survey of one hundred students of varied ages and backgrounds, Roger Cross has created a practical, helpful book for parents who want to understand why their kids are so angry and what they need to do to change.