The Chosen Child Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life

The "chosen child syndrome" is a phenomenon familiar to many. It can be defined as the emotional abuse suffered, in one form or another, by a child who has had a parent who was too involved in his or her life. Among the feelings recalled by adults who were "chosen children" are: being a source of emotional support for their mothers; being aware that any potential boyfriend or girlfriend was never "good enough"; having a parent who was like a best friend; being responsible for parents' happiness; sometimes being "invaded" by a parent; being the object of parents' preoccupation and suffering the lasting resentment of a sister. The repercussions for children who have experienced such relationships can be severe and distressing. The symptoms include depression, troubled relationships, eating disorders, addiction, exaggerated expectations of life and self and low self-esteem. This book offers an understanding of such problems and advice for those who suffer. It aims to show how to recognize the signs of being a "chosen child", how to set about reversing the negative effects during adulthood and how to avoid repeating the pattern with one's own children.