BOY: A Woman Listening to Men and Boys

"How does it feel to be expected to 'be a man'?" Seventeen first person chapters and dozens of shorter quotes from men and boys (ages 9 to 94) address this question. Hathaway Barry, who spent several years doing more than 80 interviews, selected these responses to give the reader the opportunity to listen closely and deeply to a range of perspectives. The stories she chose represent a wide spectrum of backgrounds and circumstances.

Her motivation to do these interviews and then publish them is explained in the introduction: "As a woman living in a world primarily thought up by men, I wanted to know more about this male mind and see what I could learn about some of the confounding ways of relating I'd experienced with men. What's at the heart of it and what's my part in it?" "I've listened a lot in my life - working with kids, especially in the outdoors and, for many years, as a mediator. But I am not a social scientist or an anthropologist. I am not a journalist ... I just wanted to listen without blame or judgment to how it is for men, a whole half of the human species I knew less about. I wanted to hear their honest human stories, without gloss or performance." "I had a freedom as an interviewer. I was no one in particular in relation to these boys and men. Not wife or lover, colleague, boss or employee. I was just curious."

This is a difficult book to categorize: Sociology, Psychology, Compassion Studies, Social History, Gender Studies, Live-With-Your-Man Handbook, Know Your Brothers Manifesto? Whatever you call it, it's recommended for schools, universities, coaches, family relationships, men's groups, women's groups, book clubs - basically anyone who cares about boys and men. See www.listeningtomen.com