Adult Children as Husbands, Wives, and Lovers: A Solutions Book

Do you go out of your way to avoid conflict in your primary relationship? Do you feel that your partner is emotionally closed off from you? Does the fear of abandonment overwhelm you and make you cling to your partner?

Emotions, control, boundaries, intimacy, conflict, commitment: these are issues in any relationship. But if you and/or your partner are Adult Children, these issues can be the source of continuous struggle, pain, and confusion. In Adult Children as Husbands, Wives, and Lovers, Steven Farmer pinpoints how difficulties with these issues originate in childhood, where healthy role models were not available.

Farmer offers examples that illustrate how each of these issues is played out in the relationship, in all their variations. You’ll find specific strategies for breaking old destructive patterns, and ideas on how you and your present or future partner can create healthy intimacy. Each chapter includes exercise you can do alone, with a friend, or with your mate that will help you heal old hurts and develop a satisfying relationship.

An Adult Child himself, Farmer shares personal experiences and case histories of unhealthy and healthy relationships to show that having a relationship is a process. You don’t have to “have it all together,” and there is no such thing as a “perfect relationship.” The only requirement is that a couple—or even just one person—face their problems honestly, and find the hope and courage to change.