Weak at the Top: The Uncensored Diary of the Last Cavemanager

Monday Recruitment week! This is where I play God and toy with other people's lives. Rigorously pre-sorted CVs. Photos first - don't want any swamp donkeys scowling round the office. Then checked interests. I will not work with anybody who thinks rambling is interesting. Found one with skydiving under interests. Crossed him off - can't have employees who are more interesting that you are. Hayley my PA asked if she could go on self-assertion course. I said no for the hundredth time. Tuesday Working from gym today. Told Hayley I need to spend more time looking at the figures. Have diverted all calls to our Customer Careline where they will be patronised to death by a recording which says they're held in a queue and we value their call very much. We don't tell them we value their call because we're charging them A GBP3 a minute for it and the queue they're held in is a circular one. Wednesday Got in so late I hardly had time to bin post, delete e-mails and cancel meetings before lunch. In the afternoon called in top totty Emily Reimbold and gave her a quick 360A Adegree appraisal (if her skirt was any shorter it would be a collar).Asked her if she'd like to have dinner to discuss a more hands-on management style. She declined but I assured her my door was always open (the one marked 'Bedroom').