Choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, airing the orchid-whatever you call it, none of the images in this book will encourage the gentle art of self-pleasure. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.

Images You Should Not Masturbate To

Humor & Entertainment

Johnson, Graham

Hibbert, Rob

Humor

TarcherPerigee

Rejected Books is a collection of forty hilariously unrealistic, totally cringe-worthy covers for books that will never, ever be published—from the authors of Images You Should Not Masturbate To\nHave you ever had a great idea for a book but then thought, “Nobody would ever read that”? Well . . . you’re probably right. But you’re not alone! Enter Rejected Books, a rollicking collection of the best book covers for books that were never meant to be. These awful pitches were turned down for any number of reasons: they’re either too long, too sad, too raunchy, or just plain bad.\nThe compilation of imagined book covers in Rejected Books will have you scratching your head and guffawing with every page turn. Though Pranks with Sausages and Holy Bible II don’t actually exist, Rejected Books offers up a professionally produced series of photos imagining just what these wacky ideas (and plenty more) couldlook like.\nRejected Books includes delightfully weird covers of imagined books like:\n• The Sculptors Who Couldn’t Do Hands 
• Cooking with Breast Milk 
• Possessed Toys: A Buying Guide 
• Unfortunate Gluing Accidents 
• Camel Toes Through History\nEnjoy the worst book pitches of all time and rest assured that anyone can have a future in publishing . . . even if your ideas are totally horrible.

Rejected Books: The Most Unpublishable Books of All Time

Clarkson/Potter

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Books by Hibbert, Rob